Fanboy Manifesto: The Gospel According to Guster’s “One Man Wrecking Machine”
I just had a Fanboy moment, and no one is going to be surprised to find out Guster is involved.
You don’t run a site like this if you aren’t dedicated to the cause of foisting your ideas and your favorite bands on anyone who will listen, and then getting really serious about it. If you do something like this, you have to have an evangelistic fervor. You have to be on a mission. You have to be willing to risk having the door slammed in your face- now, hold that thought for a moment.
I had the occasion to get fitted for a tux today as I’ll be in a wedding in June. I don’t know any guy who actually likes tuxes, but they are part of the gig. Even if you happen to be in fit physical condition and good shape, getting fitted for a tux is not something you covet. If you happen to, say, not be physically fit and in good shape the experience becomes less pleasant still, but this is what you do for your friends. It’s the gig and you go along with the program because you’re about to be a part of something special, and you’re getting a front row seat.
For those of you keeping score at home, my tux size is “Big Top.” Glorious. I keep a good sense of humor about this because it’s not like I didn’t know I was fat before I went to get fitted. It wasn’t exactly a surprise, “What do you mean you’re going to have to charge me for two tuxes because you have to sew two pairs of pants together? That’s ridiculous!” They’re all going to laugh at you, best to laugh right along with them.
So, as I’m getting humilated fitted, I started thinking about the other fellas who are going to be on this action. There’s the groom, who I met in college; ditto for his best man. The two of them knew each other in school, which is where the other two groomsmen fit into equation and that’s when it hit me.
I’d been listening to Guster’s Ganging Up on the Sun record and “One Man Wrecking Machine” starts playing and it hit me like a bolt of lightning:
Back with my high school friends
Meeting where the train tracks end
Passing ’round a skinny joint
Rollin’ up to Lookout Point
That portion of the second verse, the first two lines in particular, made me think of my friend standing up there with three of his buddies from high school and the overall tone and vibe of the song as a whole. Even if you, like me, never sampled the aforementioned product you’re going to be able to identify with this song when you’re 30. It’s a song about looking back, and not looking back.
First and foremost, the song has a great melody. Ryan Miller’s vocal perfectly delivers the mood and feel. Miller’s lyrics are poignant, funny, and ring truer with every day. I never thought I’d be at all nostalgic for the old days because the old days weren’t always that great. Now I realize the old days weren’t great at that time because I was a dumbass. I probably still am, but I’m a wiser dumbass than I was at 15. This is the kind of song that belongs at the end of one of those John Hughes, ’80s movies.
Naturally, I had to make my friend listen to it.
I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. You’re thinking to yourself, “Why should it matter one way or another whether or not your friends like your music?” It’s not just music, and it never has been for me. It’s… a part of me and who I am. I don’t just “listen” to music. I devour it, I’m consumed by it, I relish it. It’s a phenomenal feeling when something takes hold of me and I want someone else to experience that, too.
I’ve had to learn the hard way that it doesn’t always work that way. You can’t always get what you want, right? I’m sure, if you’re still with me, you’re laughing at me and the very thought that I get that invested in the music I love. I can laugh about it, too. I just can’t be any other way. When someone else doesn’t have that same reaction, it triggers a rejection-like response in me. Yeah, no pressure there for the legion of poor saps who’ve had to endure my unending attempts at changing their music-listening habits.
That’s where this site comes in to play. You see if I suggest a song to only one person, I’ve got a 50/50 shot of success. If I fling this out into cosmos, I’ll get more doors slammed in my face but I might find a taker or two. Click on the iTunes link. It only costs you a buck. One of you is going to thank me.
Who’s it going to be?
Filed under: Tags: Fanboy Manifesto, Guster
i hate weddings.
Every guy does, man, every guy does. Yet… this is what we do to our friends and for our friends. Think of it like this: they have to put up with me.
i wanna see a pic of you in the tux with the ipod earbud wire snaking up from your pocket…
Don’t think the iPod won’t be at the ready at all times. Don’t count on any of those pictures making it to the ‘net.
First, I agree with Saleski…you must post a pic of yourself in the tux. There is something about a well dressed man that makes me…
Anyway, I listened to “One Man Wrecking Machine” the other day…actually I watched the video and to be honest, I wasn’t particularly moved in any way. This was the 2nd time I had listened to it. I will say I liked it better than the first time I heard it; I will spare you my initial impression of Guster.
I did enjoy the video. It made me want to reach into my monitor and squish the characters. I might try to listen again since I will have your narrative in mind. Third time is a charm…right!?
I will spare you my initial impression of Guster.
oh come on now….josh can take it!
You must not watch the video to hear the song, S.Rod. You need to hear the album version. I believe that video uses a mix that is a bit harsher to my ears. It’s been awhile since I watched the video. I’ll tell you this, too, I liked that song better the second time. It was a grower.
S.Rod, even you might not have enough points built up to not be completely in love with Guster. You must seriously work on this and consider carefully.
As for the tux, you’re too kind. A Big Top does not a well-dressed man make. There is literally nothing I can think of that will get me to put those pics on the net.
backstage passes to a Norah Jones show?
All that will get me is vicious rejection or an even more vicious divorce. Not worth it. Feel free to keep trying (besides, that’s a check your butt can’t cash).
true, though if i did have them i’d probably offer ‘em to you because i can’t deal with that sort of thing. shoot, i still haven’t recovered from meeting Tori Amos.
Mark, I don’t think Josh can take it at all. You see that I have been lowered in esteem because I have not expressed love for Guster. But you won’t disown me? Right?
Josh - I will work very hard on this Guster problem of mine.
As for the tux ~ It doesn’t matter how big you are as long as its fitted for you it will look good. When you look good, you carry yourself differently and your confidence comes through.
Confidence? Whoever said I had any of that? Your efforts to address your Guster problem will not go unrewarded, S.Rod… but don’t anybody think those pictures are going public.
What about a little quid pro quo?
alright! now it’s getting interesting! nah, josh won’t budge. i’m sure of it. but still, bridesmaids dress in hideous lime green…poufy arms?
c’mon josh, that’s just gotta be worse than a tux.
While I will agree you had a positive connection with those lyrics, I cannot say that they do not completely suck. Pretty much just as bad as everything else guster has done.
I’m all for keeping my options open. What do you have in mind, S.Rod?
Luke, take your comments to Pitchfork where that nonsense belongs.
I actually had not thought that far ahead. What would you like? Let’s be reasonable so that nobody gets into trouble.
Yes, yes, we must tread lightly, of course. We have to conjure something outrageous enough to make it worth my while to publish my humiliation while not leading to arrest, imprisonment, divorce, exile, or execution.
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