Confessions of a Fanboy

Christmas means so many different things to so many people, ranging from nothing to everything and a host of points in between. Christmas has come to, in part, mean music to me. For one thing, I always get new music at Christmas. I’m easy to shop for like that. For another, no other holiday or occasion throughout the year has a musical backdrop like Christmas. There are certain songs you only hear at this time of year. Glosslip’s own Dawn Olsen helped me decry the downside of that equation. Now it’s time to celebrate the good, and that’s something you can’t do alone. Celebrating Christmas means family and friends, and Dawn is both. I’m proud and thrilled to welcome my Sister in Sarcasm and good friend as we endeavor to help the rest of you make your Christmas just a little merrier.

Here are a few of our Christmas favorites:

Josh Hathaway:

I’ve got what I think is a nice mix of music on my list of favorites. There’s traditional, contemporary, rock and roll, instrumental, and vocal. There are Christmas songs I like that aren’t on this list, but here are a few favorites.

• “The Christmas Song” - Nat King Cole: Yeah, I know, I’m really going out on a limb with this one. Who cares? It’s perfect. It’s not Christmas until you’ve heard this version of this song. End. Of. Story.

• “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” - Sarah McLachlan: Goosebumps. Lumpy throats. Stinging eyes. Warmth, beauty, compassion, comfort, companionship. Breathtaking. Perfection. I’ve long been a Sarah McLachlan fan and this performance of a well-known classic is perhaps the best illustration of why that is. Magic.
• “Christmas All Over Again” - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers: Most “original” Christmas songs completely blow. They’re cheesy, overly sentimental, and stupid. They ripoff the traditional and do it piss poorly. There are exceptions, like this one from Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers. This song is fun! Remember when Christmas was fun? You will when you hear this! My favorite part: “Long-distance relatives, haven’t seen’em in a long, long time/Yeah I kind of missed ‘em, I just don’t wanna kiss ‘em, no.”
• “Run Rudolph Run” - Chuck Berry: Elvis may be the King of Rock and Roll to you, but for me it will always be the inimitable Chuck Berry. He invented the genre. He created the musical and lyrical language everyone else would follow. He blazed the trail. The master storyteller spins this great yarn better than anyone before or after.
• “Merry Christmas Baby - “Chuck Berry: Chuck didn’t write “Rudolph” or “Merry Christmas Baby,” but he delivers the definitive versions of both cuts. His vocal is picture perfect on this song and the arrangement is great. Johnny Johnson — the Johnny B. Goode — lays down some soulful piano and Chuck lays down a very cool “White Christmas” guitar solo.
• Majesty & Wonder - An Instrumental Christmas - Phil Keaggy & The London Festival Orchestra: I’m a guitar head from way back. One of the first records I ever got was a Phil Keaggy vinyl LP from my godfather, a childhood friend of my dad’s. Keaggy was in a band called Glass Harp before helping to pioneer the Contemporary Christian music market. By keeping this record instrumental, Keaggy allows his talent — his strength always was and always will be his mastery of the guitar — to flesh out some of the most beautiful melodies ever conceived.

  His phrasing and touch are as good as it gets. This album is one of the records TheWifeToWhomI’mMarried and I both love, making it great Christmas listening. Her favorite is “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring.” Mine is “Silent Night.” The combination of Phil’s perfect playing and the great string arrangements by the LFO make this one everyone should hear.

  Dawn Olsen:
  I love, love, love Christmas. Mostly in a Clark Griswoldian way (we go for the extreme lighting). I love to embrace the somewhat silly traditions and cultural expressions which center around a fat, jolly guy in a red velvet suit. In my heart though, as cliched and fruity as it might sound, I truly “get” the spirit of the holiday and of course the religious connotations it all brings. From the exchanging of inappropriate gifts, to the crushing lines at stores, to the custardy libations that add on a few extra inches around my waist, Christmas is a time of cheer.

  And as ubiquitous as the clearance sales are on every corner, the music of the season can either add to your joy, or enhance your throbbing headache. Since we’ve already covered those Christmas songs most likely to induce vomiting, we now present mine and Josh’s list of season’s best offerings.

  1.) “Christmas Wrapping” - The Waitresses - From the easily recognizable guitar riff at the beginning, to the poignant, yet girl-centric lyrics, this new-wave hit touches at the very heart of my ’80s soul. Making a modern day Christmas classic is almost impossible and few have been able to pull off. The song’s writer, producer and band member Chris Butler also achieved another amazing feat, he wrote a brilliant song which encompassed the age old Christmas gripes of being too busy to get into holiday spirit, too busy to meet up with that crush you’d like to get to know better, and tops it off with a happy ending. Like a fairy tale for party girls. Women themselves have a hard time writing songs that captures the essence of relationship frustrations, but this song is so catchy, so perfect and so Christmasy. Very ’80s, yet very timeless. A treasure.

  2.) “Fairy Tale Of New York” - Pogues with Kirsty MacColl - Yes, another ’80s treasure. This song is as beautiful as it is sardonic. I love the combination of the Pogue’s Shane McGowan half-slurred and mush-mouthed vocals combined with the lilting beauty of Kirsty’s voice as they belt out lines such as “You scumbag, you maggot, You cheap lousy faggot
  Happy Christmas your arse, I pray God it’s our last.” It sounds like Christmas eve at my house! This is also a modern day classic and no Christmas is complete without hearing it.

  3.) “The Christmas Song” - Nat King Cole this song (originally written by Mel Torme, who also does a great job) has been covered by EVERYONE and their dog, but no one, I mean NO ONE makes it feel like all the warmth and joy Christmas fills a child’s heart with like Nat. His buttery voice, smooth as silk glides over the lyrics like an eagle over a pristine lake. I could listen to this version over and over again, and have it feel like the first time every time.

  4.)”Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” - Judy Garland - This song makes me cry almost every time. Although the song’s message is one of joy and happiness, you can hear the veiled sadness which is inherent in Judy’s gorgeous voice, truly bittersweet. Oh Judy, why were you so very sad? *Sigh*

  5.)”Blue Christmas” - Elvis Presley - The King at his best. Between the bluesy guitar, the oohs and ahhs of the background vocals lay a voice which at its core is soulful and not cheesy like the later day Elvis became. I like to remember the King as the person who sings this song, not as the guy whose heart exploded while on the crapper.

  6.)”White Christmas” - Bing Crosby - I can remember seeing Bing perform this song on a Christmas special when I was a little kid. Bing always looked liked the perfect dad. His dreamy voice, superb production and his ever so slight tremelos are pitch perfect. Plus I love the whistling. (His duet with David Bowie doing “Peave On Earth/Little Drummer Boy” is also amazing, though sad as Bing died shortly after this song was recorded.)

  7.)”Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” - Brenda Lee - Gosh, I just can’t even tell you how much I love this song. The lyrics are fabulous and Brenda’s country/rock classic, complete with horns was ahead of its time. Very ’50s, but again, totally timeless. Just a great feel good song. Never fails to make me smile.

  8.) “Santa Baby” - Eartha Kitt - Now I know this song has been covered by so many artists, and so many have failed miserably to capture the sexy, wanton materialism the way Eartha does. On one hand, this is a jaded stab at the greed which Christmas can create, but it’s so kitschy and tongue-in-cheek you can’t help but enjoy Eartha’s purring and rubbing up on Santa’s leg. There’s no way Santa could resist Eartha in her prime!

  9.)”Baby It’s Cold Outside” - Dean Martin - Oh Deano, you could convince me to stay even if it were 80 degrees and your house was on fire. Dean is a sexy machine and this song with it’s sexual innuendo must have been quite risque back in 1944 when it was written. Now that’s ZEXYTIME. Another great version of this song is the Zooey Deschanel/Will Ferrel duet from the movie “Elf.” Zooey needs to record an album.

  9.)”Run, Run Rudolph” - Chuck Berry - Like a Who fan who always imagines Pete Townsend doing his signature windmill guitar move, I always picture Chuck Berry doing his duck-walk maneuvers while rocking out to this fun holiday classic. The Smithereens do a great job on this song as well.

  10.)”Sleigh Bells” - Ella Fitzgerald - Ella’s voice is out this world no matter what she sings, but on this song its like being transported to another universe where everything looks like the perfection of a snow globe. No hunger, no sadness no glaring reminders the world is NOT perfect. When Ella sings about “gliding along with a song of a wintery fairyland.
  Our cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy-cozy are we….” Please take me to that place where children are always well-behaved and the chocolate is always hot and frothy!

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