Confessions of a Fanboy

The shadow of a sad has hovered above my head all day. My brother would tell me I’ve eaten my EmoFlakes. I don’t like emo music, but that makes me laugh.

So I’m sitting here… in my living room… listening to the same movement from the American Beauty soundtrack. I’m actually listening to the segment called “American Beauty.” If I remember right, it’s the music we hear while the video of the plastic bag dances. It’s an absolutely gorgeous melody, and with no words it says everything I see and hear and feel inside, and that is pretty amazing. The music makes me make more sense to myself. I can listen to this passage and hear beauty without the sadness. Tonight, I hear both. That’s the more interesting part than imagining me sitting around moping. It’s the way notes on a piano, bathed in strings, can fuse with my wordless thoughts and emotions. The amalgam is probably not a pretty sight, but it is amazing what music can do.

I actually have a picture of Thomas Newman, the Oscar-nominated composer who wrote the score, signing my copy of the soundtrack. I happen to work with someone who is related to him. How cool is that?

Instead of doing any real writing for the site, or working on those reviews I mentioned earlier today I am going to sit here and stare at my computer screen while this song plays over and over. Then, without warning, I won’t want to listen to it anymore and maybe, just maybe, the shadow will inch just slightly to the left or to the right. It may not leave completely. Sometimes I wonder if it ever does. Maybe it will slide far enough that I’ll feel like doing something with myself. Maybe it it will only slide far enough that I’ll have the energy to get up off the couch and get in bed. Tomorrow is another day.

A plastic bag, dancing in the breeze…

Filed under: Musical Musings and Random Ramblings