Confessions of a Fanboy

Dear Music Industry,

I hear you’ve been having some financial troubles lately. I can identify. Of course, my financial woes are largely your fault as most of my disposable income winds up being spent on music in one form or another but that’s beside the point. The point is your sales are plummeting year after year, and you haven’t come up with a viable plan to do anything about it.

You have been reluctant to embrace the idea the reason you can’t get people to pay for what you’re providing would have anything to do with, well, what you’re providing. I think I can help. Let it not be said that all I do is lob bombs and throw stones. I have answers. No one asks me.

I suppose the good part about never being asked is that I have a lot of free time to continue coming up with more ideas. That, and I’m not responsible for fucking up a billion dollar industry that should be as easy as selling air conditioning in Arizona. People love music and they have for thousands of years. You really can’t find a way to sell people something they already want? How stupid are you?

So, since you have not been able to find your ass with both hands and a map, here is my wishlist. Put three of your best people on this little punchlist and see if the dollars don’t come rolling in. The way I see it, if I wish for these things other people do, too. If I’m willing to pay for these, and I am, you’re bound to find other paying customers. Remember, people want what you’re selling.

*A definitive AC/DC compilation: They’re in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, they’ve been among the most commercially-successful bands in history. Elton John and Johnny Cash have had their music repackaged hundreds of time, yet there is no single or double-disc AC/DC compilation. I think there are a lot of casual AC/DC fans who would gladly pay to have one disc that brings their best songs together.

*Re-master of The Cure’s Disintegration: I’m going to admit- this one has me a bit pissed off. Damn near everything up to and includingDisintegration has been re-mastered, re-packaged, and re-released over the past year or two. Why continually stop prior to re-releasing what is arguably the band’s best record? Besides, this is the only CD whose cover I’ve ever lost and I want to have it back on my shelf.

*Beatles Re-masters: I’ve already touched on this, but it’s worth repeating. The original run of Beatles’ CDs is pitifully inadequate for the most important pop music catalog of all time. The packaging is chintzy and the sound is underwhelming. A proper re-mastering and re-packaging of these albums is beyond overdue and necessary.

*Springsteen Remasters: Listen to the 30th Anniversary of Born to Run, then go listen to its initial pressing, or either of the first two records. Hell, even Tom Joad was poorly mastered and that takes us into the mid-’90s. I get that Joad was a quieter album, but if I have to turn the volume up to the point of distortion just to hear it, there is a real problem. The music is great, the songs stand up, their CD incarnation is lousy.

Greetings, Wild, Innocent, Darkness, The River, Brilliant Disguise, and Tom Joad all need re-masters. Nebraska is optional as it was intended to be lo-fi. Lucky Town and Human Touch have pretty good sound and are optional, as well. The rest simply must be re-done.

*Springsteen Tracks Vol. 2: The Seeger Sessions was a good album, but it caused Bruce to pause work on another installment of his archived Tracks series. We need the next installment! That long-rumored Darkness/Phoenix live release would be swell, too. I’d also like some Devils & Dust shows, please, while we’re cleaning out the archives.

*Dave Matthews Band Lilywhite Sessions: People downloaded the shit out of these songs when they were leaked electronically, and there was a large contingency of Dave’s fans who actually prefer the Lilywhite versions to what appeared on Busted Stuff. I know Dave didn’t, but he got his way. He got to release his version, now let the fans have theirs. After all, our iPods are clogged with 10,000 live versions of “Jimi Thing” from all the live albums we’ve bought. He can meet us halfway on this one.

*Jon Brion version of Fiona Apple’sExtraordinary Machine: Similar to the above, a lot of folks downloaded this- why not release it as a CD and let us have the best of both worlds?

*Petty’s Wildflowers 8-Track demos and the unreleased songs from that album’s sessions: The wonderful Tom Petty companion book, Conversations With Tom Petty speaks of songs from the Wildflowers sessions that didn’t make that album or the She’s the One soundtrack. Even Petty considers Wildflowers one of his best albums. We should all hear these songs.

He also makes mention of how good the 8-track demos for the songs were and how closely they resemble what was actually released. He said he thinks it would be cool to release them. That makes two of us, Tom.

*Re-master of Full Moon Fever: If Wildflowers isn’t his better latter day album, a lot of people will point to this one. Listen to the FMF songs on the Playback box set or Anthology and compare it to the versions on the actual album. Big difference. In fact, everything in Petty’s discography through Long After Dark got remastered. Why not re-master Southern Accents, Let Me Up, I’ve Had Enough, Full Moon Fever, and Into the Great Wide Open. Pack Up the Plantation is optional.

*U2 Remasters: OK, they don’t have to re-do the entire catalog for my sake. The album that most needs the facelift is The Joshua Tree. It’s arguably their best album, and the sound on CD is beginning to feel a little thin. Besides, I have it on good authority that someone fucked up the transfer of the album to CD. The little ‘intro’ to “Exit” is actually supposed to be a coda to “One Tree Hill.” The space between is correct on both sides, but it got cut onto “Exit” instead of “One Tree Hill.”

*Otis Rush box set: All right, I admit, this one is mostly for me. Otis Rush had about the worst career luck of any blues artist I know- and that’s fucking saying something right there! I’d love to see someone do for Otis Rush what Shout! Factory did for John Lee Hooker with last year’s Hooker box set. Four discs, career spanning. It was marvelous. Otis needs the same treatment. If you can unearth any previously unreleased studio work, and I bet there is some, that would be a treasure to behold.

*3rd installment of Muddy Waters’ Complete Chess Masters series: You can argue Muddy Waters is the most important bluesman of the 20th Century. You can make a case for a few others, but Muddy is tough to knock off that perch. A pair of two-disc sets have collected the complete Chess master recordings of Waters from the years 1947-52 and 1952-’58. These years do encompass a lot of Waters’ best work, but it would be great to have a third volume that takes us up through the Big Bill Broonzy and Folk Singer records. There is a lot of great Waters’ work done at Chess that’s not easily available, and it should be.

There you have it, dear record executives, my 12-point plan to return you to prosperity.

Sincerely,

Josh Hathaway
ConfessionsOfAFanboy.com

PS: Before anyone accuses me of being greedy, keep in mind I’m going to have to pay for all that shit. This 12-point plan is coming out of wallet.

Filed under: Bruce Springsteen, Fanboy Manifesto, Muddy Waters, Otis Rush, The Beatles, Tom Petty, U2